Well, bless your heart, let’s talk about them… bathing suit situations, you know, the ones that make a fella stand a little too tall, if you catch my drift. It ain’t nothin’ to be ashamed of, happens to the best of ‘em, but a fella still wants to know how to handle it, right?
First off, what a man wears under them swim trunks is his own business. Some like them tighty-whities for support, some like nothin’ at all. But listen here, if them trunks are givin’ you a wedgie, they ain’t the right size. Go bigger, honey! Like them pants, you gotta find what fits right. If you wear a medium in pants, maybe them swim trunks need to be a large, see?
Now, about them… “swimsuit boners”. Lord have mercy, they can be a pain, like a pinched nerve but worse! It’s like your… you know… is gettin’ choked by that net lining inside the shorts. Poor thing’s like a fish caught in a net! So, what can you do?
- Distract yourself: Think about somethin’ else, countin’ sheep, fixin’ the fence, anythin’ but… you know.
- Move around: Go for a walk, wiggle them toes, flex them muscles. Get that blood flowin’ somewhere else.
- Pee if you can: Sometimes that helps, sometimes it don’t. Worth a shot though, ain’t it?
- Meditate: Now, this one might sound fancy, but it just means tryin’ to calm your mind. Think peaceful thoughts, like kittens and sunshine, not… well, you know.
- Change positions: If you’re sittin’, stand up. If you’re standin’, sit down. Just shift around, it might help things settle down.
But the best darn solution I ever heard of is to just get in the water. Wade in up to your… well, you know… and that will hide the problem right quick. Water hides all sorts of things, bless its heart.
Some folks say you can wear a jockstrap under them swim trunks, like them athletes do. That might work, might not. The important thing, like I said, is to get trunks that fit right. They should be snug but not too tight, you know, holdin’ things in place without squeezin’ the life out of ya. Like compression socks, but for… you know.
Listen, them boners, they just happen. It’s natural, ain’t no shame in it. A man can’t always control it, no matter how hard he tries. It can happen at the pool, at the beach, even at a swimmin’ meet! It’s just plain embarrassin’ sometimes, that’s all. Especially if you’re wearin’ one of them… Speedos. Lord have mercy, them things leave nothin’ to the imagination. If that happens, you just gotta figure out how to hide it, for your own dignity’s sake, you know?
There are ways to gain control, they say. Practical tips, they call ‘em. Ways to stop it discreetly, effectively. Master your body’s responses, that’s what they tell ya. But sometimes, it’s just like tryin’ to hold back the tide.
I even heard tell of a company, PornHub I think it was called, that made special swim trunks to help with this very problem. Imagine that! Seems like a lot of fuss for somethin’ that’s just part of bein’ a man, but I guess it bothers some folks more than others.
So, there you have it. A few thoughts on them… “bathing suit boners”. It ain’t the end of the world, it’s just life. Just remember to breathe, find what works for you, and don’t take it too hard on yourself. We’ve all been there, or at least the men have. The women? Well, that’s a whole ‘nother story for another day. Now, go on and enjoy the water, but be mindful of them trunks, ya hear?
