Easy Ways to Tell If Breasts Are Real or Implants

Well, howdy there! Let’s talk about somethin’ ain’t nobody usually talks about out loud, you know? We’re gonna figure out how to tell if them… uh… them chest pillows are real or not. Yeah, you heard me right. Real or fake, that’s the question.

First off, look at the jiggle. You know, when a gal walks, them things oughta move, kinda like jelly in a bowl. Not too much, not too little. Just… natural-like. If they’re stiff as boards, well, that might tell ya somethin’. They shouldn’t just sit there like two lumps of dough, you get what I mean?

Then, take a gander at the shape. Real ones, they ain’t usually perfect, you see? They’re kinda like pears, or maybe teardrops, not like two perfectly round balls stuck on a chest. If they look like two big ol’ melons, all round and plump at the top, well, that’s a sign they might not be the real McCoy. The real ones are usually fuller at the bottom, and they might have some sag to ‘em, especially if the gal’s had a few young’uns.

Touchin’ ain’t always an option, mind you, but if you could, real ones feel soft and kinda… squishy. Not hard like a rock. But don’t go around pokin’ people, that ain’t polite!
Look close at the skin. See any tiny little lines? Stretch marks, they call ‘em. Or maybe some little blue veins? Real ones often have those, especially after a gal’s had babies or gained a bit of weight. If the skin’s all smooth and shiny, with no marks at all, it might be a bit suspicious.

Another thing, look at how close together they are. Most gals have a little space between ‘em, a couple of inches or so. But if they’re squished right up together, almost touchin’ in the middle, that could mean there’s somethin’ extra in there. Implants, they call ‘em, can push them things closer together.

And don’t forget about symmetry. Real ones are never exactly the same size and shape. One might be a little bigger, or hang a little lower, or point a little more to the side. That’s just how it is. But if they look like twins, perfectly matched in every way, well, that’s a bit unnatural, ain’t it?

Now, I heard tell that some of them fancy doctors can make ‘em look real real, so it ain’t always easy to tell. And honestly, does it really matter? A gal’s a gal, whether them things are real or not. But if you’re just curious, well, these are some of the things to look for. And remember, it ain’t polite to stare or point, so be discreet about it, ya hear?

And one more thing, don’t go around spreadin’ rumors or gossipin’ about it. It ain’t nobody’s business but that gal’s. Just be respectful, that’s all I’m sayin’. So, there you have it. A few tips on tellin’ the real from the fake. Now go on and mind your own business!

Sometimes the bigger they are, the faker they look. I mean, it’s like carrying around two huge watermelons. It don’t look natural, does it? If a gal’s always had small ones and then suddenly she’s got these giant things, well, you can probably guess what happened.

And finally, trust your gut. Sometimes you just get a feelin’, you know? You look at ‘em and you just know. Can’t explain it, but it’s there. So, pay attention to that feelin’ too.