Alright, so, I’ve been dealing with this thing in my relationship, and it’s been bugging me. My girlfriend, she never initiates anything, like, anything. Not just sex, but even dates or just hanging out. It’s always me planning stuff, reaching out first, you know? So I started to feel a bit, I don’t know, unwanted? Not really appreciated.
First thing I did, I kind of pulled back a little. Stopped being the one to always initiate. Figured, maybe she just got used to me doing it all the time. Maybe she thinks I don’t want it when she doesn’t make a move. I was hoping she’d step up, you know? Show some initiative. But nope, nothing. We just ended up seeing each other less, talking less. It sucked.
Then, I got to thinking, maybe it’s not about me. Maybe she’s got her own stuff going on. Fear, or bad experiences, or she’s just not that type of person. I mean, we’re all different, right?
So, I decided to talk to her. Not in a blaming way, but just like, “Hey, this is how I’m feeling.” It was tough. I didn’t want her to feel attacked or anything. Just wanted to be honest without making her feel bad. I tried to be as kind and understanding as possible. Told her I missed her and that when I’m always the one reaching out, it makes me feel some kind of way. But I didn’t directly mention that she never initiated anything. I really did try to be gentle.
She listened, which was good. Said she didn’t realize I felt that way. She explained that it was just difficult for her to take initiative, and she didn’t know why, and didn’t mean for me to feel like I wasn’t loved. We talked for a while, just trying to understand each other better. We didn’t fix everything right then and there, but it was a start.
After that, things got a little better. She started making an effort, even if it was just small stuff, like suggesting a movie to watch or just texting me first sometimes. It wasn’t perfect, but I could see she was trying.
I’m still figuring this out. I realized that communication is key, even if it’s uncomfortable. And it’s not always about changing the other person, but understanding them, you know? It’s about finding a balance that works for both of us. We’re still working on it, but things feel more, I don’t know, equal? Like we’re both putting in the effort.
- Keep Talking: This is a big one. Keep the lines of communication open. Share your feelings, listen to hers.
- Be Patient: Change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and effort from both sides.
- Show Appreciation: When she does initiate, let her know you appreciate it. Positive reinforcement and all that.
- Don’t Keep Score: It’s not about who does what more, it’s about finding a balance that works for your relationship.
It’s a journey, man. But I’m hopeful. We care about each other, and we’re both willing to work at it. And that’s what matters, right?
