Hey there, y’all! Let’s talk about somethin’ kinda private, you know? Like, how to, uh, keep goin’ longer when you’re, well, doin’ the deed doggy style. Yeah, yeah, I know it ain’t somethin’ we grannies usually gab about, but hey, times are changin’, ain’t they? And a little knowledge never hurt nobody, right? So listen up, I’m gonna tell ya what I know, or what I heard from them city folks anyway.
So, first off, you gotta get your head in the game. No, I don’t mean thinkin’ about the grocery list or how the chickens ain’t layin’ enough eggs. I mean, you gotta relax. Them fancy folks, they call it “biofeedback” or somethin’. Sounds like a bunch of hooey to me, but they say it’s all about trainin’ your brain to chill out. They do yoga and meditate, like sittin’ around doin’ nothin’ but breathin’. Seems kinda silly, but maybe there’s somethin’ to it. You know, like when you’re tryin’ to thread a needle and the more you fuss, the harder it gets? Same kinda thing, I reckon.
Then there’s this thing called “Yab-Yum.” Don’t ask me what it means, sounds like somethin’ you eat! But it ain’t about eatin’, that’s for sure. It’s about gettin’ real close and personal, you know? Face to face, like. Now, how that helps with lastin’ longer doggy style, I ain’t quite sure. Maybe it gets you all warmed up and ready to go, so you don’t go poofin’ out too quick when you switch things around. City folks and their crazy ideas!
Now, this one I kinda get: the cowgirl position. Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinkin’. But it ain’t just for the gals, you know? It’s about switchin’ things up. Don’t just stick to one thing, try somethin’ different. Keeps things interestin’, and maybe helps you last a bit longer too. Like plantin’ different crops in the field each year, keeps the soil healthy, you know? Same kinda idea, I guess.
One thing them city fellas told me is that you gotta practice. Practice? At what, you ask? Well, at, you know…pleasurin’ yourself. I ain’t gonna spell it out for ya, you ain’t a baby. But they say it’s like milkin’ a cow. The more you do it, the better you get at it, and the longer you can…well, you get the picture. And while you’re at it, try eatin’ some dark chocolate. Heard it helps with the blood flow, and that’s always a good thing, right? Just don’t eat too much, or you’ll be waddlin’ around like a stuffed goose!
Another thing them city slickers are always on about is “testosterone.” Sounds like somethin’ you put in a tractor, but they say it’s important for… you know… man stuff. They got pills and potions for it, but I say stick to the natural stuff. Eat good, get some sunshine, and don’t stress too much. Stress is like a weed in the garden, it’ll choke the life outta ya if you let it.
- Foreplay is your friend: Don’t just jump right into it, take your time. Get things warmed up, like bakin’ a pie. You gotta preheat the oven, right? Same kinda thing.
- Talk to your partner: It ain’t a one-person show, you know? Tell ‘em what you like, ask ‘em what they like. Communication is key, like a good fence between neighbors. Keeps things clear and prevents misunderstandin’s.
- Don’t be afraid to experiment: Try different things, see what works. It’s like plantin’ seeds. Some grow, some don’t. You gotta keep tryin’ till you find what works best for you and your partner.
And finally, and this is the most important part, don’t sweat it. If things don’t go as planned, so what? It ain’t the end of the world. There’s always next time. Just relax, have fun, and enjoy the ride. Life’s too short to worry about every little thing. Like a good rain after a dry spell, sometimes you just gotta let it happen.
So there you have it. A bunch of advice from an old lady who probably knows more about chickens than… well, you know. But hey, I’ve seen a thing or two in my time, and I figure if these things can help them city folks, maybe they can help you too. Now go on, get outta here, and have some fun. And remember, be respectful, be kind, and for goodness sake, be safe!
