Alright, alright, let’s gab about this camera thing, ya know, the one that makes ya look all…puffy. They say it adds weight, and let me tell ya, sometimes it feels like it adds a whole darn pig! So, does camera really add weight? That’s what we’re here to figure out, ain’t it?
Now, I ain’t no fancy scientist or nothin’, but I’ve seen enough pictures of myself to know somethin’ ain’t right. You look in the mirror, you think, “Hey, not bad for an old gal.” Then you see a picture, and it’s like, “Whoa, Nelly! Did I swallow a watermelon?” It’s a real head-scratcher, lemme tell ya.
- First off, they say it’s all about them camera lenses. The wide ones, they call ’em. Makes things look stretched out, especially up close. So if you’re sticking that camera right in your face, well, don’t be surprised if your nose looks bigger than your whole head, and you look wider than a barn door.
- Then there’s the angles. If the camera’s lookin’ up at ya, it’s gonna make ya look like a giant. Like you’re standin’ on a mountain or somethin’. Best to have that camera straight on, or maybe a little bit high, ya know, like you’re lookin’ down on things a bit, makes ya look slimmer, they say. Who knew takin’ a picture was so complicated?
And don’t even get me started on the lighting. Bad lightin’ can make ya look like ya got shadows everywhere. Highlights all the wrong things, ya know? Makes every little wrinkle and bulge pop out like it’s sayin’, “Hey, look at me!” Good lightin’ though, that’s a different story. Makes ya look all soft and glowy. Like an angel, almost, haha! Almost.
Another thing, they say it’s ‘bout depth perception. When you look at somethin’ with your own two eyes, you can see how far away things are. Your brain figures it all out. But a picture, that’s flat. No depth. So, your brain gets confused, and things look…fatter. It’s like your brain can’t tell the difference between a little curve and a big ol’ belly. It just sees wide, wide, wide.
People are always complainin’, I hear ‘em, “Why do I look so fat in pictures?” Well, honey, you ain’t alone. Seems like everyone thinks they look fatter in pictures. It ain’t just you. And it ain’t necessarily ‘cause you’re fat. It’s just the darn camera playin’ tricks on ya.
Some folks say it’s like the camera adds ten pounds. Ten pounds! That’s a whole lotta potatoes, let me tell ya. And it’s all because of that lens thing again. The way it bends the light, or somethin’. Makes ya wider than ya really are. It’s like lookin’ in one of them funny mirrors at the fair, only not so funny when it’s your own picture.
And if you’re usin’ one of them newfangled phones, well, that’s probably got one of them wide lenses too. Like 23 or 24, whatever that means. Just know it makes things look wider. So, if you’re takin’ a selfie, hold that phone far away, or you’ll end up lookin’ like a pumpkin head.
So, yeah, I reckon the camera can make ya look fatter. It’s all about the lenses, the angles, the light, and how your brain sees things. But don’t let it get ya down. Pictures ain’t everything. What matters is how ya look and feel in real life, not some flat piece of paper. And remember, a good smile can make anyone look beautiful, even if the camera’s tryin’ to trick ya. So smile big, hold your head high, and don’t worry too much about lookin’ a little…puffy in pictures. We all do, honey. We all do.
The truth is, the camera doesn’t actually add weight, but it can sure make it look that way. It distorts things, plays with light and shadows, and messes with your perception. So, next time you see a picture of yourself and think, “Oh, dear,” just remember, it’s probably not as bad as it looks. You’re beautiful just the way you are, camera or no camera. Now, go on and take some pictures. Just try to find some good light and hold that camera at arm’s length, ya hear?
