So, I’ve been scratching my head over this guy at work. We’ll call him “Alex.” We used to get along just fine, grabbing coffee, chatting about weekend plans, you know, normal coworker stuff. But lately, it’s like I’ve got the plague or something. He’s short with me, sometimes even rude, and I just don’t get it. It’s gotten to the point where I started asking myself, “Why is he mean to me?”
At first, I racked my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong. Did I say something to offend him? Did I accidentally take his favorite mug? I mean, I’m usually pretty good at reading people, but this was a total mystery. I started observing him more closely. I noticed he was still all smiles and jokes with everyone else. It was like he had a switch that flipped to “jerk mode” whenever I was around.
Then, it hit me. A couple of weeks ago, we were both up for that lead position on the new project. I got it, he didn’t. Could that be it? Was he resenting me for getting the role? It seemed plausible. Maybe he felt overlooked or undervalued, and he was taking it out on me. I had a colleague with whom I had a good relationship, so I confided my troubles to him, and he felt the same way.
After thinking about it some more, I also considered another possibility. I remembered reading somewhere that sometimes people who are mean to others are actually struggling with their own stuff. Low self-esteem, insecurities, that kind of thing. Maybe Alex wasn’t feeling too good about himself, and my success was just making him feel worse. It’s like, when you’re feeling down, seeing someone else shine can sometimes make you feel even more inadequate. So maybe his meanness wasn’t even about me at all.
So, I decided to test the waters. I kept being my usual friendly self, saying “good morning,” offering to help with tasks, that sort of thing. No big confrontations, just consistent kindness. It wasn’t easy, especially when he’d snap at me for no reason. But I figured, even if he was just jealous, killing him with kindness might at least make things less awkward. Meanwhile, I began to proactively share the lead of the project with him, giving him the opportunity to show off his strengths in front of his superiors. He was in charge of the project, and I was the executor. At the same time, I helped him with some of his personal problems in private, and I could feel that he was getting less aggressive towards me.
And guess what? Slowly but surely, things started to change. He started being a little less cold, a little more willing to chat. We even managed to have a few normal conversations without me feeling like I was walking on eggshells. It wasn’t a complete 180, but it was definitely progress. He will still be a little embarrassed sometimes, but our relationship is much better than before.
I’m still not 100% sure what the deal was, but I think it was probably a mix of both things – the job situation and maybe some personal insecurities. But the important thing is, I didn’t let his meanness get to me, and I didn’t stoop to his level. I just kept being myself, and eventually, things got better. It just proves that sometimes, a little understanding and a lot of patience can go a long way. And who knows, maybe we’ll even be back to grabbing coffee together again soon.
